This Sleepless Night, I Remember the Sand

Hey there! Sorry I didn't blog yesturday, but it was SUCH an awesome day. I went to the beach with Sean, Alex, Gabby, and Molly. All was AMAZING. It was the first time going to the beach this year, so that was good, and going with them was an added bonus. I brought my camera along, and we took 120 pictures. =) While we were there, we relaxed, buried Molly, and made her a big boobed mermaid, swam, and just had all around fun. =) I LOVE the beach. I can't even begin to describe. I just feel so at home there. I honestly think that I never could move away from the shore, because I need the beach. If I could live there, I would. I DIDN'T get burned, which is good, but they did a little bit. OHH! And, Molly brought lemon juice. Oh, the lemon juice. They were putting it in each other's hair, which, I don't know if you know, but lemon juice highlights the hair, and..yeah, it was interesting.

So, what did I do today? What DIDN'T I do today? =) I ran around like crazy today, from the doctor's, to the mall, market, and a ton of things at home. Mainly I was doing yard work though. Since my mom and I plan on selling our house, we have to make it look nice, and that includes the yard which looks like shit. So, I've been "working" on that. Actually, I don't mind working out there, oh and by the way, if you want a good ab workout, rake. =) It really does work.

Ok, so I'm kind of spazzing right now. Tomorrow, Alex, Gabby, Molly, and I are going to New York City to go see Rent on Broadway for Molly's birthday. I am FREAKING OUT because I'm so excited. =) I literally cannot wait, or sleep, hence me blogging now. But, it should be amazing, being with them all day, and going there. I'll let you know how it is. =)

Well, I'm tired, and see if I can get some sleep.

The sound of the waves crashing,
against that white-sand shore.
The peace,
the care,
the nature.
Spent with those loved,
the place most loved,
with those most loved.
What more can one ask for?





CIAOOO

A Blah Day. . .

I'm blogging early today, well, at least what is considered early for me. But, I am now because I don't really have anything else todo. Actually, that's a lie. There's a SHITLOAD of things for me todo, that I could do. But, I don't want to do any of them, so I'm not. That probably isn't a very good idea though. My mom will most likely be pissed, but I'll deal with it. I'm actually enjoying my day of nothing. I'm getting things done that I haven't been able to in a while. I uploaded some really old pictures to Facebook that I haven't had time to do, oh and I SHAVED! You have to check this out, I havent shaved since Friday, and it was bad; look:

It's a horrible picture of me, but it shows, kinda, how I haven't shaved. It was actually a lot worse, anyways, now I am a lot better. =) I'm glad, because I was getting quite scruffy, and it was annoying.

Anyway, as I said, I dont really have anything to do today, but I do have a the eyedoctors, FOR REAL tonight. I'm kind of excited to go; I don't know why, but I like going to the eyedoctors. I hope I get new glasses, I like new glasses. =) Tomorrow I am supposed to be going to the beach with Gabby, Alex, Molly, and Sean. I'm EXTREMELY excited to go, because I get to see Sean; I really miss him. The really funny thing about us going to the beach, together, is that he is EXTREMELY white, because he is irish, and I get EXTREMELY dark, almost black, because I'm very italian. We have an . . . interracial relationship; at least that's what we call it. You have to see this:

I'm madly in love with this picture, he's so adorable. But, I think you see what I mean, he is WHITE, and that is me, BEFORE summer, and I get tan. So, only imagine the contrast between us by August. It should be interesting =). Anyway, I'm going to get going, and maybe do something around here. If not, I'll just chill. I'll let you know how the beach is. =)

Time,
going non-stop.
No time to breathe,
or look around;
to see the world around you,
or even where you stand.
Just a moment,
a day,
to one's self.
It all deserved,
for living,
is hard.

CIAOOO

Early Alzheimers?

Today was a rather boring day, for the first time in quite a few actually. I've been talking to Sean all day though, so that's good. =) But I miss him like crazy, since I now know what it's like to spend all of that time with him. Alex came over today though. She rode her bike over, even thought it was about 100 degrees outside.

That is something that is getting rediculous around here. I can usually handle the heat, and I like some of it, like high 80s, low 90s. But not this 100 degree shit. And people say that there isn't any global warming, HA. The globe certaintly isn't cooling, that's for sure. Anyways, Alex came over, and I made us some spaghetti and gravy. It was pretty amazing actually. I'm proud of myself. Then we went to Coollicks, and got some ice cream. It was GODLY in all of this heat. Then I walked home and talked to Janessa.

I just realized I've never talked about Janessa. Well she is the sister that I've never had. That's her actually, in the picture to the right. I've known her since 6th grade, and ever since, we've been so close. I talk to her at least once a day, in some way, shape, or form. She's amazing.

Anyways, I talked to her, as usual, and things were usual. Then I got ready to go to the eyedoctors. So, when my mom got home, we left right away and first we went to Barnes & Noble, because I needed my summer reading books, (ugh) and then we went to the eyedoctors.

So, I bet you're wondering what the title has to do with any of this. Well, my mom and I pull up to the eyedoctors and there is a sign that says "Will be bacj at 8:30." Mind you, our appointment was for 5:30. I FLIPPED a shit, and my mom realized our appointment was for tomorrow night. Forgetful huh? Then she almost got us into an accident about 3 times. She was being a REAL airhead tonight, and I don't know why.

Well, now I'm trying to make my Vista into a Mac, and it's getting a little nerve-racking, but I'm getting there. So, I'm going to go try and finish.

A mind forgetting what is what,
slipping by reality,
confusing fate with dreams.
You must stay centered,
and keep grip to life.
For if you let it get away,
it can ruin everything.

CIAOOO

The Day I'll Never Forget

Hey there. I'm watching Rent right now, which is basically my life. Well, I mean, the story is my life, or at least it was. I don't think it applies as much anymore, since Sean, but he's amazing. =) So Saturday, I am going to New York with a few friends, Molly, Alex, and Gabby, to go see Rent on broadway, before it ends in September. =( I'm sad it's ending, but im SOUPT to go see it. I cannot even begin to imagine the 4 of us, in a car, with Molly's mom. I feel bad for her Mom, God only knows what she's going to have to deal with.

So, the past 24 hours have been the most memorable ever in my life. It was the most SPECTACULAR day in my life. Sean came over last night, he slept over, and we spent the whole day together, alone. We didn't do much of anything, but that's what made it so amazing. Just being with him makes me happy. We hung out all over my house; it was great. =) Godd, I'm falling so in love with him, I'm starting to sound like a broken record, and a lovesick puppy, but I love it. It's the truth.

I think I might be starting working tomorrow, but I don't know yet. I'll probably start later this week. I can't wait to start, for the money, but then I can wait, cause once I start, then I know that's all I'm going to be doing. It's really a win-lose situation.

Alright, "Take Me of Leave Me" is on, and I love this song, I'm gunna go watch. See Ya.

Just being in the same room as you,
we don't even have to speak.
All it takes is your presence,
to make me go crazy.
I love you,
that I know is true.
Everything about you,
I now obsess over.
I'm afraid of being all over you,
too much.
But I don't think you mind,
at least I hope you don't,
because I love you,
and I'm not letting you,
and this feeling go.

CIAOOO

A Murder Mystery, Some Cuddling, and an Awesome Night

So, I'm sitting here watching "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry." It was funny, but now it's just getting crude, oh well. It's over anyways.

I have had the MOST AMAZING day, well, it was more like night. My friend Emily had her 16th birthday party at her house. It was like in the middle of east guam, but her house and yard are amazing. =) The party was murder mystery themed. It was pretty freaking awesome. I was a voodoo priest. I got intense with it too. I did my hair and even wore eye make-up. It was pretty fun though. Sean was there, which made it about 1245678976543 times better. =) I LOVE spending time with him. It doesn't really matter what we're doing, it can be anything really. Tonight we cuddled, quite a bit. I spent about 99% of the night with him. I just love holding him, and watching him.

Oh, so guess what?!??! HE CAN STAY AT MY HOUSE TOMORROW NIGHT!! =) I'm SO excited, it's unbelieveable. I get to spend a whole 24 hours with him. I don't know what we'll be doing, but it won't matter, cause I'll be with him. But yes, I'm EXTREMELY excited about this. =) I love him so much, its unbelievable.

So, I think I'm gunna go, I'm finding that I don't have too much to write about right now. =) I'll be back tomorrow, probably. =)

The feel of your skin,
so soft.
The feel of your kiss,
the passion.
It feels so right.
You're all I seem to be able to think about.
You've invaded my mind,
and my heart.
But I love it,
I don't want it to go away.
I need you here with me.
You.
The one.
The one I love.

ILOVESEANWALSH. =)

CIAOOO

Breakdowns, Recitals, and Love.

It's 12:30, and I'm very tired, so if any of this is incoherent, that is why.

So, what happened today? Well, I guess not too much. I slept in for the first time, in a very, VERY long time, and I think I can say that it was well deserved after a week of craziness and exams. So that was really nice. I didn't actually do that much today, I should have, but I didn't. I just needed a day to relax, and sit back. I haven't had one of those in a while, and that's what I did today, nothing.

But, I had my accordion recital tonight. Oh, can I just say how much of a hassle it is to organize things. Sean came =), and he wanted someone to go with, so he wasn't alone. So all afternoon, we called people and texted people, but NO ONE answers their freaking cell phone anymore. Alex was going to go, but then she had a softball game, and then her sister was going to go, but the her mom had a mental breakdown I guess. That's what Alex said. I don't exactly know what happened, but I do know that her mom was freaking out, and taking it out on them. I feel really bad, cause I know what that can be like. But there isn't really anything I can do, except be here for them if they need me. =)

So, the recital. It actually went well. I finally got nervous throughout the day, and it was all for not. I got an AWESOME introduction from my teacher; he introduced me as "the next New England Champion." So, I guess I have a lot to live up to now, but I'm excited, and more ready than ever for it. =) I played my solo pretty well, I play one mistake, but everyone said I played really well, and didn't notice. But I noticed, and it still bugs me.

Also, can I just say I have an amazing boyfriend. I'm probably going to be talking about him a lot, so get used to it. =) He makes me feel so damn special, and loved. But I love him oh so much, more than I think he knows. =) I know we haven't been dating for extremely long, but I feel as though it has been, and I love it. I'm trying to convince my mom to let him stay over monday, so we can spend some time together, I REALLY REALLY want him to. But, I'll let you know what happens.

Alrighty, I'm going to go talk to Sean a bit more then head off to bed. I'll be back tomorrow I'm sure.

The notes sprawled across the lined page,
the sounds of a melody streaming through my head.
I can hear the music,
but to put it into words,
or music,
feels impossible to me.
It's something I love,
I adore.
One thing that can make me truly happy.
My music.
My life.
My addiction.

I love Sean Walsh. =)

CIAOOO

Ends and Beginnings

Hey!

I just finished watching So You Think You Can Dance, and I decided that I should blog. =) Today was my final exam as a sophmore, ever. I am officially now a junior. I know I said that it scared me a bit, but to be honest, it doesn't anymore. I got over it, I'm actually excited now. I'm just going to take this summer, and enjoy it all I can. Or at least I'll try, seeing as how I'm working 40 freaking hours a week. It's a full time job! But, I will be making $10 an hour, so it's worth it.

I have my accordion recital tomorrow, and I'm not really nervous at all. It's extremely weird. I'm usually nervous, even if only a little. Even my teacher says that if you aren't nervous for a competition or performance, then you aren't normal. So, I'm now nervous about not being nervous, but I'll get over it. =) I normally do, and I'm playing a solo that I'm positive of, I love the song, and it isn't easy, but I can play it, so I should be all set. =)

Ok, to add to yesturdays post. Sean Raymond Walsh is amazing. =) I never thought I'd be so happy with someone so early, but I seriously love him. He makes me so happy, and I love talking to him. I really hope I can spend a lot of time with him this summer. Actually, I NEED to spend a lot of time with him this summer, I think I would loose my mind if I couldn't. I just love him, so much. =)

Well, Sean's coming back now, so I'm gunna go talk to him. =) Talk to you later. =)

A year coming to an end.
A whole year,
wasted,
hiding behind this facade of who I thought I was.
But then this comes along.
A brand new thing,
a brand new feeling,
a brand new me.
My life has been full of bad timing,
and bad luck.
But, this couldn't have any better timing,
it couldn't feel any better,
this couldn't be anymore right.

CIAOOO

I'm in the best mood EVER right now. =)

Hey there everyone!

So, I'm starting by saying, I AM IN THE BEST FRICKEN MOOD RIGHT NOW EVER. I guess I'll tell you why. =) Well, as of recent, I've come out, and told people I'm bi. So, I now have a boyfriend. His name is Sean, and he is the most amazing person in the world. =) Well, at least I think so. We've been dating for about 2 1/2 weeks, and its been pretty amazing. I've never really had any luck in relationships; they were all short lived, and they never really felt right. But this one, it feels so right. What is almost scaring me though, is that I'm falling for him so quickly. I mean, I love it, and I love him, so much. But loving him this much this quickly is a little weird. But I'm done questioning it, I'm just going with it.

I have my last exam and my last 2 hours of my sophmore year tomorrow. I'm really excited, but kinda sad at the same time. I LOVED this year, it just flew right by! And I'm really excited to be an upperclassman next year, I'm going to be a junior! But then at the same time, I'm a little nervous or sad because that means I'm another year closer to college, and the real world, which is one scary-ass concept.

Well I'm kinda tired, so I'm gunna get going. =)

Emotions running through the veins of this heart,
not knowing where they're going to bring me.
I let them go, with a bit of caution,
for I've gotten hurt too many times.
But now,
this is different,
at least I think.
I love him,
and he loves me.
Life seems perfect,
because he is just what I need.

CIAOO

I've been neglective =\ Wait, is that a word?

Once again, I'm sitting here, and it's almost midnight. I was just talking to my friend Gabby, again, and we were talking about blogs. I knew that I had this, I just never really had the time to go anywhere with it, or do anything. But, I've decided that I'm gonna try to do more with it now that school is basically over, and I can use it over the summer.

So, this week, the "exam" week, or better known as the "week from hell." Oh, it's just wonderful. "Studying" every minute of everyday, preparing for a test that is meant to signify everything we have learned all year. Yeah, right. . . It's more like a rediculous review on an extremely long test of the things that we are NEVER going to need to know for the rest of our lives. I'm not saying school is rediculous, just the exams, and about 75% of the things we learn are. For example, do we REALLY need to know about physics, or the extensive in depth learnings of chemistry. How many people are going to become physicists or chemists? I mean, really come on!

Anyway, I'm really not feeling that well right now. All run down from the exams, my brain has now turned to mush, and I don't think I know my lefts from my rights. It's kinda rediculous. By the way, before I go, I've decided that I'm going to try to close every posts with a poem. It's just kinda something that I do, they are either really long and in depth, or short, sweet, and to the point. It all matters on how I'm feeling at the time. But they always have something to do with my feelings at the moment. So let me know how they are, I REALLY appreciate criticism.

As I sit staring at the computer screen,
the blinking text bar, the line
full of empty space.
A thought not being able to be put into words,
while a multitude of things
swirl around within.
An idea wishing to be an action,
to come to life
and be real.
But it will forever be an idea,
a blinking text bar,
a line
full of empty space.

CIAOOO.